It’s been awhile since my last blog post. It’s a good thing I’m not really serious about this yet; surely if I had as many followers as Hollywood celebrities do, they would have given up on me before now.
I have a friend who refers to her teenaged son’s lack of direction as “bobbing.” The first time I heard her use the analogy, I caught on that this was something she is deeply concerned about. I had to silently acknowledge that I go through periods of living my life this way. I wanted to tell her it could be worse; he could be drowning. I was afraid she would think I was trying to be glib so I kept silent. In his case, he is undecided about his plans for the future and seems to lean toward trouble a little too easily. At least I’m too old to have that problem. I suppose I should be concerned about myself, but I am not. Should I be concerned that I am not concerned? This could become a real conundrum.
My computer at home finally gave up the ghost, and that was where I did most of my writing. I am unable to decide whether to get it fixed again, or to shop for something new. The old dinosaur takes up far more space than a new one would. There are so many newer, more compact products to choose from, and I am at a standstill. At present I am using my smart phone for personal surfing, but not liking it. I’ve grown accustomed to listening to audio files that cannot be played on a phone, and I also did a lot of research and reading online. What to do, what to do, what to do?
I have three dogs and two cats. One of the dogs, a basset hound, was recently diagnosed with valley fever, an ailment common in the southwest among creatures that breathe. It’s a fungal infection that can settle in just about any part of the body, caused by inhaling the spores that live in our dirt. Typically the lungs are affected, but not so in her case. It went to her bones and joints. After a little less than a month of treatment, she seems like a whole new dog, with all the vim and vigor of a pup. Treatment might be needed for several months yet, but I’m relieved to see her responding so quickly. Here I thought she was just lethargic and limping because she is a middle-aged basset and this is a natural thing for a hound that is, effectively, bred to be a dwarf. I am grateful for veterinarians who know what’s what.
It seems that the older I get, the more aware I become of all the ugliness in the world. News headlines today shout the depravity of humanity, yet some folks still hold onto the hope that we can get better. College coaches caught in child sex abuse scandals, reports of cruelty to children, reports of cruelty to animals, reports of young people committing suicide in larger numbers than ever, natural disasters the world over and pictures of violence and death are ever before us. Who can deliver us from these bodies of death?
In all this randomness, where is the continuity?
One of the things I wish I had more time for is song writing. At times my head is full of ideas; at others I can’t string three words together. Recently I composed a short little ditty that I can’t seem to get out of my head. It’s a little on the melancholy side, with a simple melody line and understated piano accompaniment.
All is quiet and still tonight, but I can’t sleep – it’ll soon be light.
Finding You I just keep still. Jesus, help me know Your will.
People fail, and I do too; but I can put my trust in You.
Jesus, let Your kingdom come and let Your will on earth be done.
I take comfort in the music of Fernando Ortega, in Bible study and in the company of friends and family. They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, and I wait for His guidance and direction. I know that in time things will change.